US Government Status @usgovstatus

February 2017

No incidents reported for this month.

January 2017

No incidents reported for this month.

December 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

November 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

October 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

September 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

August 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

July 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

June 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

May 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

April 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

March 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

February 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

January 2016

No incidents reported for this month.

December 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

November 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

October 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

September 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

August 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

July 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

June 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

May 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

April 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

March 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

February 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

January 2015

No incidents reported for this month.

December 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

November 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

October 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

September 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

August 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

July 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

June 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

May 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

April 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

March 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

February 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

January 2014

No incidents reported for this month.

December 2013

No incidents reported for this month.

November 2013

No incidents reported for this month.

October 2013

Boehner Blasts Beer Brouhaha
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 11, 00:56 - Oct 12, 02:03 UTC
Details of National Debt Loan Surety
"再见" said Senator Mitch McConnell as he was packed into a wooden crate to be loaded into the cargo hold of an Air China Boeing 747 headed for Beijing.
Oct 5, 14:53-21:14 UTC
US Government to File for IPO
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 4, 12:31-15:09 UTC
President Urges House To Vote
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 4, 00:44-11:45 UTC
Senate Replaced By Automated Service
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 3, 13:20-16:05 UTC
Congressional Wages To Be Garnished During Shutdown
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 3, 00:56-04:04 UTC
Jurisprudence Appropriate Yardstick for Zeal
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 2, 19:56 - Oct 3, 00:38 UTC
Urgent News From The White House
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 2, 17:02-18:32 UTC
Welcome Perrysylvania!
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 2, 13:27-15:19 UTC
Undercover Boss Cancelled
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 2, 12:06-13:15 UTC
CIA Seeking Contract Cryptanalysts
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 2, 02:30-03:37 UTC
FDIC Insurance Status
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 2, 01:23-02:23 UTC
"The War On Drugs" Downgraded To "Slight Disagreement On Drugs"
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 1, 23:58 - Oct 2, 01:14 UTC
CDC Employees: Catch up on Breaking Bad
The CDC has now disposed of the entire stockpile of necrotizing fasciitis, Ebola, cholera, smallpox, and the clap into the rivers around the Atlanta, GA area. There is no reason for CDC employees anymore. The remaining CDC assets will be sold on Craigslist soon.
Oct 1, 22:40-23:49 UTC
Bear containment system has failed
The bear "problem" has been promoted to an "act of God" and therefore is beyond the scope of this system. Good luck.
Oct 1, 14:28-22:35 UTC
Free (small) ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery for non essential workers
Promotion has ended early.
Oct 1, 20:28-20:47 UTC
Can You Assist at Three Mile Island?
Three Mile Island is stable now. The noises you hear and any odd shaped clouds you might notice in the area are natural events. Earthquakes, etc.
Oct 1, 19:20-20:17 UTC
Chevron presents The United States of America, in association with Coca-Cola.
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 1, 17:37-19:12 UTC
Attention Residents of Roswell, New Mexico
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 1, 15:53-17:26 UTC
Hawaii now part of Great Britain, Alaska on eBay
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 1, 16:40-17:26 UTC
The 28th Amendment To The United States Constitution
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 1, 16:22-16:31 UTC
Pluto: we don't care
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 1, 15:45-15:53 UTC
Missile Launch Prevention Team In Place
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 1, 14:34-15:21 UTC
Republicans and Democrats Not Sure If They Agree on Color of The Sky
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 1, 14:52-15:20 UTC
Nobody is Looking Too Closely At Those Who Turn Up To Get Married
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 1, 15:07-15:20 UTC
Important Cuban Cigar Update
This incident has been resolved.
Oct 1, 15:18-15:20 UTC
One Bit Torrent Downloaded in Arizona
We detected that one person in Arizona, a Mr. Bert Smith, illegally downloaded a "bit torrent" of the television show "Cheers". Rest assured that while the government halts non-critical operations, we still take our primary obligations very seriously. Mr. Smith is being held on Alcatraz Island (yes we re-opened it this morning) and will be eligible for parole in 2023.
Oct 1, 14:42 UTC
Mattress Tag Team In Place
Be aware that illegal removal of mattress tags is still considered priority #1 and teams are on standby to deliver justice where needed.
Oct 1, 14:36 UTC